Episode Transcript
Hello, everyone. Welcome to The Spiritual American. My name is Dr. Anne O'Hare. I'll be your host. Today in this episode, we're talking about trust and trust has been an issue in my life. I would imagine it's an issue in many of our lives. We maybe want to be more trusting in our lives, but there's a lot of evidence why maybe we shouldn't be. And today we're going to talk about trust. We're going to talk about the underlying reason why maybe we don't trust so much and also a spiritual solution that maybe you hadn't thought about. So let's start out by defining what is trust. So when I think about trust, I think about Um, feeling open in a relationship. It doesn't have to be a relationship with a person. Could be with my relationship with my job. Could be my relationship with the government. Could be my relationship with my body, with nature, with my family, or could be a particular person or a situation. Trust means that I feel my heart is open and I feel like there's nothing in between myself And that thing. So I don't feel like there's anything negative in between. I don't feel like there's anything scary or making me feel afraid in that situation or that relationship. Now, this doesn't always just work when you're with the person or in the situation. It could be when I'm thinking about it. So for instance, if I have Um, if I don't trust people at work or my boss or something like that, I may go home after work and think about my work and how I don't trust anybody at work and it causes, it causes something. So we think about when I don't feel trust or I feel like I don't feel open or that I can't trust in that situation. How do I feel? And you'll see in these episodes, we're going to look beyond the surface. We're going to look and see what the feelings are that's going on underneath. And we're going to be looking at spiritual healing ways of looking at it. But what do I feel like when I can't trust? I feel afraid. I feel like I have to hide. Maybe I feel confused. Maybe I feel angry. Maybe I feel uneasy. Maybe I'm blaming them. Maybe I'm coming up with all different ways of thinking. Maybe I'm looking for somebody else to talk about that person. But basically what I feel like is I feel powerless in that situation. I feel uneasy. I feel afraid and I feel, I don't feel powerful for whatever reason. So when we talk about trust, we're looking at a situation where there's nothing in between me and that thing where I feel completely open and happy. And maybe you could say there's no history, there's no account, there's no, there's nothing in between. There's nothing negative there. So why do we feel bad in these situations? And I have an example and it's weird when I share it because when I share it, it's making me feel a little vulnerable sharing it because I'm going to tell you the real what was going on in my mind at that time. So for those of you who are on the podcast, you're listening to me, but. If you're looking at me, you can maybe tell my age, but I'm in my early fifties. So I'm going through that menopausal kind of health situation that women find themselves in at my age, at this age. And maybe there's like a weight loss difficulty or maybe there's, you know, I'm, I'm thinking about bones and I'm thinking about health and I'm thinking about maintaining muscle mass and vitamins and all these things that come with menopause health, you know, women's health and menopause after menopause. So I was feeling particularly vulnerable about this area a couple of weeks ago. Meaning, I was feeling a little out of control about it. I was feeling a little upset, more than a little, about my weight, let's say. It happened to be about my weight. And I said, let me look online and see if I can find a program. that maybe I can follow. Now, I'm sure that some of you listening can relate to this. Like maybe you can say already, Oh, here she goes. I know exactly where this is going. So I was feeling vulnerable. I was feeling like I needed some help. And I said, let me go try this thing. So I went online, I went on my phone and I found one, uh, app that asked me for my address, my email address and my information, even before giving me any information at all. And I said, Nope, not going to do it. I said, Nope, that's not what I want. And I was looking because what I was looking for actually was some information for free. That's what I was looking for. Now, how many of you can relate to that statement? You're looking for information for free. Like I shouldn't have to pay to get a little bit of information if I need some help, right? That's, that was the idea. That's the attitude I was having. But on the other hand, I was also feeling very vulnerable and like I really wanted some help. So I looked and I looked a little bit further and I did find another app that, um, I don't Had a questionnaire. I said, all right, let me let me give it a shot I'll do the questionnaire and I did and I answer all the questions and then it said, okay Well in order to get your full results you have to join for 1999 and Normally, I would just like stop at that point, but I did notice that They did give me something because they did say that based on the results of the quiz or the results of the questionnaire, I could reach my goal, my weight loss goal or whatever within six weeks. That was some information. Okay. So I can reach it within six weeks. That's what they said. And in order to get that information, I have to pay 20, 19. 99. Because it's 20 a month, but I would only need it for six weeks. So in my mind, I'm thinking, okay, should I do it? Should I try it? It's only a month. Uh, I can always cancel it. And. You know, I was back and forth with myself about it and like, is it worth it? It's only, I can cancel it right after, maybe it'll work. So I'm having like a little bit of hope, you know, maybe it'll work. Not really that convinced, but I said, all right, you know what? I'm going to try. So I paid the 19. 99. So how many of you out there are already with me? Like you've, you've played this scenario, right? So 1999 so then it opens up and it says great here you thank you for joining and such such and such and then it says in order to first step is to download the app said okay great I'll download the app no problems now I'm a little bit I don't know I wouldn't call it hopeful but I was a little bit all right maybe I'm gonna get something for this 20 okay. So I download the app and as soon as I open the app it says. Here's the questionnaire. So I had to redo the questionnaire, which was a little bit weird, but I said, all right, I'll, I'll redo the questionnaire. So I redid the questionnaire and then it opened up to a homepage. Which I was very happy because now it was like, okay, good. I'm actually getting information. So the homepage had like a, a steps log for exercise. It had a water log. It had some, uh, inspirational videos to get you started. And I was okay, um, should I hope now? Like, I mean, should I, I'm thinking, okay, well, there's. you know, there's some information here. There's some good stuff here. And then, then at the bottom of the homepage was a little, what do they call that thing? Little button that said menus. It was a tab. That's where I was looking for a tab that said menus. I said, great. Oh, good. Okay. So now they're going to talk about food. So now I'm already starting to think, okay, I can start this tomorrow. I'll get the information. Maybe I have to go shopping. So and so great. I click on the menu. And a screen opens up and says in order to access your menus, you need to upgrade your membership for 59. 99. I'm being silent because if you could hear my heart crash, that's what you would be hearing right now. You could see the look on my face at that moment was like. Here we go again. I was, I said, forget it. I canceled the subscription. I lost the 20. Obviously I paid it for nothing. And I was so disgusted that I just, cancel the whole thing. And I said, forget it. So what happened there? And why did I feel so bad? I mean, obviously these people are looking for money, right? Why am I surprised at that? Why did I feel particularly bad at that time? I'm going to say I felt particularly bad because I already felt bad about my weight or whatever I was feeling bad about. And I was already reaching out for help. So one of the things I want to talk about trust is that, you know, Um, maybe we have a history of feeling vulnerable or feeling like I don't know something or that I need something. And that when I reached out to get that need fulfilled or get that information. or get that help, I was received with some kind of negative response. It could have been, you know, directly negative, like somebody being really nasty, but more often than not, it probably wasn't. It's probably somebody looking for money or somebody doing their job or somebody just being themselves. But because I felt so vulnerable and so needing the help, I just wanted somebody to give me something to make me feel better, right? This is an important point that we have because as, as those kinds of situations build up in our memory and in our history, we build up a, like a, an evidence base file in our mind, why I shouldn't trust things, right? I have tons of evidence. It's not good to be vulnerable because people don't care. It's not good to ask for help because people aren't going to, you know, help me or whatever. So what happens is I. Try not to be vulnerable because vulnerable means that I'm going to have to ask for something and if I have to ask for something that I have to deal with what people are going to do and ultimately I feel very Um, helpless might be too strong of a word, but I don't feel powerful in myself and I don't feel powerful in the situation because obviously I can't control what other people are doing. I can't control what my boss is doing. I can't control what the government's doing. I mean, I can vote, but I can't really control what's happening from a day to day basis. I can't control immediately what goes on with my body. I can make choices about what I eat or what I do, but I can't control, like in a snap, I everything that's going on. So there's a lot out of my control. So one of the things I was thinking about with this is that in this particular situation, it was like I had 98 percent mistrust and 2 percent trust, like 2 percent of me really wanted this to work, right? And maybe you can relate to what I'm saying, this idea that you just want it to work. You don't want, um, a hassle. You don't want it to be about money. You don't want to deal with greed or impatience or somebody who doesn't care. You just would like to get the help without the strings, right? So that's the 2%. The 98 percent is the one that remembers all those times and what happened and is totally convinced that I can't trust anybody and that basically it's hopeless and there's just no power to be had in any of these situations. So why am I telling that story? Well, first of all, I want to Show like what's going on inside my mind and heart at those times and maybe I'm hoping that many of you can relate to this the solution that I'm gonna suggest now is something that you may not have thought of because Number one, it's a spiritual solution in a sense that it's only in my own mind It's not has nothing to do with anyone else. It has to do with me and myself and my own mind And secondly, because it has nothing to do with anybody else, it doesn't show up as a typical solution. Like usually if somebody says, you know, if you want to be more trusting that you work that out with the person, I'm going to suggest you don't work it out with anybody. We're going to work it out inside ourselves. And this is another theme. of this podcast is that many, many, many, I would say probably all of the solutions that I'm going to suggest are going to be ones that you can do yourself. And it's going to be about you and your own mind. When we look at what's going on underneath the surface, we get insights as to what, how we actually feel. Maybe I wasn't paying attention to how I feel. Who wants to feel powerless? Who wants to feel vulnerable? Nobody, but we've mixed it up with the situations so that we feel 98 percent of the time we feel not powerful and then we try to hope, but we don't have enough power. That hope, that 2 percent is not powerful enough to overcome, you know, and it's silly. Then it becomes silly. It's like somebody doesn't say good morning to me and I'm, you know, upset. because, you know, hopefully maybe a lot of us are over those kind of responses, but certainly if I actually need help, I may feel a little more vulnerable. If I don't understand something, I may feel a little more vulnerable. Even starting this podcast is a lot that goes into, um, setting this up and everything. I didn't know. So I had to rely on asking for things and that at times I felt uncomfortable, but you know, you, you work through it. This is kind of like a technical, but we're talking about the trust where you actually feel like you don't trust, like you feel. Your heart is not open and you want that 2%. You would like to be trusting. We all want to have an open heart. So let's talk about an open heart for a minute, and then I'm going to give the solution. So what would it be like to have an open heart? Do you have a situation in your life where you feel completely open? Is there a friend that you have in your life or a family member where you feel completely open? Maybe Hetz. I. usually bring pets into this, but I know from my experience that pets have that we have those relationships with pets because my relationship with them is so clear and cut that there's nothing else in between. So what is the solution that we are looking at here. We want to grow that 2%. The 2 percent is what? The percent of me that wants to be open, that wants to be, feel safe, that wants to hope that this situation will work out. The 98 percent is saying it's not going to work. It's not going to work. It's not going to work. So it's draining my energy, right? So I want to build up that 2%. So how are we going to build up that 2%? So first of all, I'm going to suggest that what we need to do is build up a sense of what we already have by giving it away. Now, what do I mean by that? So we're all Americans, that I'm, I'm, it's name is the spiritual American. And there's a reason why I called it that, because as an American, we enjoy a great fortune. We enjoy great fortune. Uh, this is not to say that we're better or worse than anybody in the world, but certainly The, the foundation of this country and what it's built on and the, the freedoms and the ability to achieve and everything available to us in this country is unique and the envy of the world for the most part. So we have a lot to learn. of blessings, if you want to call it blessings or fortune. So what I'm going to suggest is that we're going to look at some of those fortunes right now, and we're going to see how we can share them. And from a spiritual standpoint, this is a spiritual law. When you give away positive, like good feelings, good wishes, or whatever you have, whatever you have inside you, that's good. If you give it away, you're actually building up your self respect. You're building up your self esteem and you're also increasing that 2%, I'm going to say that you're going to feel more powerful. So what is one thing that we have as Americans, or you can think of something, but I'm going to think of one thing. How about, Um, financial freedom, let's say. Let's say I, I'm a registered nurse, um, I'm a doctor of nursing practice and I make a good living right now. And so I can say that I enjoy. financial security. And when I say financial security, how does that make me feel? So this is how we get in touch with this thing. The 2%, the 2 percent is hopeful, open, happy, uh, having a good wish for an outcome, right? Like a positive, that's the 2%. So what, what can I say about my financial freedom? How does it make me feel that I, I'm financially okay right now. So how does it make me feel? Makes me feel free, makes me feel happy, makes me feel powerful. So let's say free, happy, and powerful. I feel free, I feel happy, and I feel powerful. I'm also grateful. I'm grateful for that, right? I'm happy that I have it. I don't feel arrogant about it at this moment. I feel gratitude, okay? So I'm feeling gratitude for what? For, for the financial, you know, freedom that I have. And what do I feel? I feel happy. I feel free. and I feel fortunate. You know, I feel fortunate, happy, free, and I just said something else. I don't know what the three things were. Anyway, so let's just say happy and free. So I feel, oh, and secure. Let's say happy, free, and secure. So in, you can say meditation, But let's not call it meditation. Let's just say we're trying to build up that 2%. So let's get in touch with those feelings for a minute. We can practice together. So I feel freedom. So I'm thinking about my money and I'm saying, I'm feel grateful that I have it and I feel free. I feel secure and I feel happy and feel happy that I have money for things that I don't have to worry about. certain things in terms of money or in terms of buying things or being able to afford my life, right? So I feel happy, I feel free, and I feel secure. So let me feel those feelings for a minute. I feel happy, I feel free, and I feel secure. Let myself feel it for a minute, like I really do feel that. Like, confirm it in yourself. You really do feel that. And then when you feel it, actually feel it in the moment, then turn it out to give to the world. So say, right now I feel secure and happy, and I wish that every single person feels secure and happy. You're sharing it with all. So don't say I want to give it to this one or that one. You can, but that's not for this exercise. We want to give it to all. So we want to open up. We want to increase our capacity to feeling powerful inside. I feel secure. Let's try that one. I feel secure. And I say, I feel secure and I'm feeling it. And then I say, and I wish, so you turn it. I wish that every single person in the world feels secure. I feel free. And I wish in my heart that every single person in the world feels free. I want to say that as an American growing up in this country, I'm not going to talk too much about politics here because. That's not what this is about. This is about being grateful for what we do have as Americans. There are certain things that we grew up with here that we can use in a spiritual way to heal ourselves, to empower ourselves, and also to be of service. And I, that's the aim of this is to be of service at the end that I can use what I have and help the rest of the world. And I think everyone wants that, but maybe we're. I'm not in touch with how. So this is how we're going to work on this. So how is this going to help me with trust? If I continue to give away my feelings of security, I'm expanding my capacity. I'm increasing my capacity for feeling secure and little by little, I'm not going to feel so insecure. So for instance, back into that example that I gave. If I didn't feel so insecure at that moment or so powerless about my weight or whatever I was doing with my diet and my weight at that moment, maybe I wouldn't have felt so bad. Maybe I wouldn't have even reached out to that thing that I maybe suspected wasn't going to work. By the way, when you increase your hopefulness or your capacity to trust, it doesn't mean that you become a doormat or naive or someone who can easily be manipulated. On the contrary, the more empowered I feel, the more able I will be to discern out when situations aren't right for me. And I'll be able to maybe set boundaries if I have to, or steer clear of situations that aren't going to be good for me. The stronger I feel inside, the more I'll be able to discern those things out. I feel more in control. I feel more secure and I feel my intellect is working better and also working to protect and take care of me. So these are the benefits of doing this. So let's try it again. So let's say, and I wrote down here, give what you have. So whatever feelings you think you have, positive feelings, maybe you feel happy that you have your family. Right? I'm so happy that I have a good family and so what are the feelings? So the step is look at something that you're grateful for that you feel is good in your life. But figure out what the feeling is that it makes you feel. Feel that and then wish it for everyone. So that's it. Maybe I feel, like I said, happy with my relationship. Let's say I'm have a good marriage. Okay. I say I'm very happy in my marriage. And how does it make me feel to have a good marriage? And I can say it makes me feel like full of love. It makes me feel full of love. I'm trying to think right now, I actually do have a good marriage. So I'm like, I'm, I feel full of love. So right now I'm feeling that love in my heart, the love that I have as a result of having this good relationship, And now I feel so much love and now I'm going to turn it and give it to the world. I wish that every single person felt this when I'm feeling right now. So there's money, there's relationships, there's health. Maybe I'm grateful that I have my health. So I can ask my, okay, I'm very good. I'm very, I'm healthy. I have a healthy body, you know, I'm doing really good health wise. And so how does that make me feel? That makes me feel happy. Okay, good. So I feel happy. So I'm feeling happy that I'm healthy and happy and healthy, getting in the, getting in the feeling of the, the feeling. And then I'm going to turn it. I wish that every single person in the world feels like this, feels happy. Um, if you think about this, what I'm doing is I'm not giving anything away. I'm actually amplifying how I feel, sharing it, not losing anything, sharing what I have by amplifying it and including the whole world, my whole human family into this feeling that I have and how this will impact trust. Like I said, what it will do will reduce the feelings of vulnerability. and it will increase the feeling of self respect and self worth because I'm using my mind and my heart in such a way by serving. that I feel good about that. And there's nothing negative in there. There's no selfishness or anything like that. It's a pure feeling. It's a pure activity of the mind and heart. And that will make us feel better about ourselves and, and more powerful in our day to day lives. So that's the end of this episode. I hope that you heard something that you could use in your life. And the, the slogan of this podcast is heal, empower, and serve. So like I mentioned before, the, the way we're going to work, this is, there's going to be a topic. Going to talk about it, probably give examples, and then going to talk about how we can use spiritual laws and spiritual practices to empower ourselves and then do that service and open ourself, open ourself up to amplify those positive feelings and experiences. So thank you all for listening and until next time, take care.
