Episode Transcript
Hello and welcome to the Spiritual American. My name is Dr. Anne O'Hare and I am your host. Today we will be talking about step one of spirituality. So a lot of times when we try something new, the, the thought is, okay, what's the first step? What's the first step? So today we're going to talk about the first step of spirituality, which is observing the mind. We're going to talk about what is the mind. We're going to talk about how to observe the mind. We're going to talk about the benefits, the difficulties in observing the mind. And we're also going to talk a little bit about meditation and what that's all about and um, how by observing the mind is the first step in taking your power back. A lot of times we feel like. I can't control the mind or maybe there's emotional states and things. So observing the mind is the number one step. So we're going to talk about that today. So first and foremost, let's talk about what is the mind. So the mind, sometimes we say, you know, my mind is full of thoughts and I can't calm my mind. And so we all have a mind. The mind is, there's a lot of definitions you could say. Sometimes people say the mind is like the brain. The mind is not really the brain. The brain is the physical part of the body, but there's a, because a thought is not something you can see, right? We experience it. A feeling or an emotion is something we experience. We can't see it. It's not like red or green or whatever. It's not something that we can see physically, but we experience it. So the mind is like the non physical place or experience field. It's the field. You could sometimes say it's like a, it's a screen that you're looking at things when you visualize in your mind or, but it's also feelings and experiences, right? So we have thoughts, feelings, experiences, memories, wishes, emotions. All kinds of things happen. It's all in, uh, in my mind. Okay. Because if I'm having a memory, I can't say, Oh, where's my memory? Is it in my hand? Is it on my shoulder? Is it? No, it's in my mind. It's not physical, right? Um, so this mind is the place that I'm basically living my life, living my, my internal life. Yes. So I have a body and I'm, I'm, you know, having experiences through the body, I'm having the senses and I'm having family and all the things that come with a body. But my internal experience of the mind is very unique. No one can share. their experience in their mind, really. I mean, we share through, through speaking and we share through, you know, maybe through our vibrations, like maybe our attitudes and things people can pick up, but nobody can go inside my mind and I can't go inside anyone else's mind. It's only through communication that we can share, but the mind is very personal and it's very unique. So today we're going to talk about observing the mind, but we're First, what's going on in the mind? So I'm saying we have thoughts and emotions and things like that. So I'm going to say that nowadays, generally speaking. People have, for instance, let's say repetitive thinking, repetitive thinking. So ask yourself, do I have repetitive thinking? Yeah, I do. I think the same things. Or if something triggers, I start thinking the same way or start having a similar emotion. Like it's a trigger. We call it trigger, but it's a habit, right? Something happens and I think that, or I feel that. Another way we can look at habitual thinking, uh, in the mind is like, if you wake up in the morning, what am I experiencing the first thing when I wake up in the morning? I would suggest that most of us have the same thoughts or very similar thoughts when we open our eyes, turn the body, sit up, walk to the bathroom, whatever we're doing. All of that is very similar. If you, if you were to map it out, it would probably be almost the same. So generally speaking, we have repetitive thoughts in the mind. Maybe we have repetitive emotions. Maybe we have memories like there's this whole thing about PTSD, like. If there's a post traumatic stress disorder, like if there's a memory that, that is in so emotionally charged that it's impacting how I'm experiencing the present moment. because of the emotional charge of that memory. The mind is very powerful, right? Even though like things happen in the past, they may still be affecting me now. One question I would ask is, do you feel like you're in control of your mind? I would venture to say many of us would say, no, I'm not in control of my mind. And maybe that's not good, right? Maybe we can, we can, it's fair to say that the fact that I'm not in control of my mind is not. positive. It's a negative thing. Maybe it's causing sorrow or causing unhappiness, something like that, that I'm not in control of my mind, my internal world. So the other thing about looking at the mind or the mind is most spiritual practices deal with the mind. And I would also venture to say that many of us have tried spiritual practices before and maybe not been able to be consistent. For instance, let's say, uh, meditation. We try meditation and we don't stick with it. Right, or I try to do Hatha yoga and I'm doing the meditation in the Hatha yoga with part of the, you know, the, the postures, the asanas, the pars, the postures, or maybe I'm doing Tai Chi or maybe I'm doing, or I'm trying moving meditation or art meditation or, or whatever, like all these many, many, many, many spiritual practices. And maybe, maybe I am consistent, but I'm going to say that if you're like me, you aren't consistent. Maybe I'm excited about it for a while. I think this is the answer and I do it for a little while and then I lose interest, right? Or get distracted and do something else. When we say that step one of spirituality is observing the mind, if we think about that for a second. We're not asking you to change anything. This is not a change. It's observation. I'm not changing anything. I heard something interesting yesterday. It was a podcast. I won't say who it is, but it was a podcast and the person on the podcast said the fastest way to make an enemy is to try to force change. And this is important what I'm saying right now. So If we look at ourselves, whenever there's a thought that I have to change something, there's a little bit of resistance to that change. Sometimes it's like, you know, I, I want to change something. Maybe I want to change something, but if it comes like I have to change and maybe I'm not ready to change or, or maybe I tell myself that I am and then it falls off. I'm not consistent. Right. So forcing change. is in this, the podcaster said, it's the fastest way to make an enemy, but I'm going to say it's the fastest way to get resistance. So we don't want resistance. So one of the things that's happening with our mind is that we were saying before that maybe we don't have control over our mind, right? So when I say in the, in the thumbnail, I said, take your power back. That means that if your mind is going crazy, I don't feel in control, right? The mind is emotional this way, maybe a afraid, angry, frustrated, memories are going, I'm reacting all over the place. That's not a pleasant experience. I don't feel good about myself in those moments. Maybe my decision making is not good in those moments either. And maybe my behavior is not good in those moments either. So it would be a good idea for me to get control. So I'm going to say that. Over time, let's say, just like any habit, if the mind has a habit of running the show, it has a strength in that habit. It wouldn't be a good idea to expect that you would be able to change that in like that. Forcing change. Doesn't work. It creates resistance, right? So when we observe the mind, we're introducing a new energy into the mind without asking it to change. So think about that. I'm, I'm bringing in a new energy. What's the energy? And we're going to talk about what energy it is, but we're observing, right? I'm observing. That's a new energy and I'm not trying to change anything. So observing means that I am just watching. Okay. Now, what kind of watcher am I? Am I going to be a judging watcher? that watches, you know, every thought and every feeling and I'm judging and I'm trying to figure out every thought and every feeling. Well, that's not going to feel very good either. So I would recommend being a loving, merciful observer. A lot of times I talk about spirituality and I say that there is no judgment in spirituality. There's no judgment of the self and there's no judgment of others. And that includes the mind. The mind as other right now that includes the mind. I have no judgment. And when we talk later about this, there's a, there's a really good podcast coming up on karma. When we talk about that, we're going to talk a little bit deeper about this, but just for now there's no judgment. I'm looking at my mind with care, with mercy, and with generosity. I don't need to change anything. So we don't want to have resistance. Remember, we don't want the resistance. So then let's say I decide to do this. Okay. So do I need to sit down and cross my legs and things like that to do this? No. Do I need to like, Put on music or put on, do something special or keep my eyes open or close. No, as a matter of fact, I would recommend don't do anything different than you usually do. Just watch, remember that, Oh, I'm supposed to be watching, watching what my mind is doing. How do I feel right now? Do I feel comfortable? Do I feel happy? Do I feel afraid? Do I feel annoyed? Do I feel tired? Is my mind running on some habitual, you know, hamster wheel, so to speak, or some repetitive thing? Am I being judgmental to myself or others? Is the mind doing that? What is the mind doing? Is it doing something constructive? Maybe I'm trying to figure something out. Maybe I'm working on my bills or maybe I'm, maybe I'm being with my child or being with my husband or, or trying to figure out how to take care of my parents, elderly parents or something. Maybe there's some other thing that I'm dealing with and there's nothing wrong with that. There's nothing wrong with anything going on in your mind. Try it. Try to observe. without judgment, with a generosity of heart. Now that's not to say, you know, again, I'm saying again to the audience, I'm not talking about extreme situations here. If you're in a, if you're in a very extreme situation in your mind, like you're clinically depressed, you're having constant panic attacks, you know, stuff like that. I'm not talking about that because you really should be in the care of a patient. provider, a mental health care, mental health provider, because like anything else, once it gets to a point where it's extreme, we need extra help. We need medical help, actually, medical help, psychological help. And that's right, because then you need more help to get it sorted out. So you can get to the point where we can do what I'm talking about now. So when, when there's extremes, we have to deal just like I, sometimes I use the example, if your blood pressure is 200 over a hundred. I'm not going to tell you to do breathing exercises. I'm going to give you medicine. So it's the same thing with emotional and mental health states. If your mental health states are causing a disruption to the point where you're not able to manage it, you need to seek mental health care. And then there's no shame in that. That's another thing about, so let me say that if you are experiencing that. Going for help is the thing that you need. So do that because then you're going to get the help. Don't let it stop you from getting help. That's the loving attitude that I'm talking about here. This loving, merciful attitude to whatever is going on in your mind. And you need to see if it's to the point where you need help. I've been, I've had experiences where I've been in therapy. I've had experiences where I've been on different medications for anxiety and things like that. So I, I know what that is. And I, there is no shame in going to get the help that you need for whatever is going on in terms of spiritual, in terms of spirituality or in terms of getting better, I would say always have the faith. That whatever you're doing is going to make you better. Always have the positive attitude about whatever you're doing. Sometimes we think that it's a failure if I'm sick or it's a failure if I have this problem. That keeps it going. I know it's easy to say it's hard to get over these, these attitudes that we have, but sometimes we feel that if we have like an illness or a problem in the mind, let's say we're looking at it like a failure. Like somehow everybody else can calm their mind, but I'm sitting here trying to meditate. My mind's going crazy. No, you're not crazy and there's nothing wrong with you. It's just that you're looking at your mind for the first time. So if you want to sit and meditate, if you've tried to sit and meditate, sometimes people try to sit and meditate and their mind is going crazy and then they say well it's not for me. Why do they say that? Because the expectation is the mind is supposed to be quiet and blah blah it's not quiet. Let's face exactly what it is. If we face what it is Then we can get better and we want to get better. Right? So observing the mind is the first step of taking some of your power back. I'm no longer just like flailing in the waves of the emotions and the shame and the worry and everything else. I'm saying, I'm going to watch the shame and the worry. I'm going to watch you. Okay. You're ashamed. Okay. I see you. You're worried. I see you. You're thinking and thinking and thinking. I see the thinking. I see the over, don't change anything. What happens when we watch with a, with a, with a gentle, positive attitude, with a merciful attitude, I'm open to having insights then. If I have a loving, merciful attitude, then I'm open to something different. For instance, like if you have a good friend, like a good friend, I would say, is there if you need to talk about a problem, right? So if I have a problem, I can talk to my friend. And when I talk to my friend, I'm kind of opening myself up. I'm telling the truth about what's going on with me with the understanding that my friend is not going to judge me, has my best interest at heart, and is going to be there for me while I try to kind of sort this out. Right? Same thing with you and your mind. You're not your mind, by the way, but we're going to talk about that in another podcast. But let's just imagine that I'm pulling myself out of my mind and I'm being my mind's friend. My mind is, is kind of sick right now and it needs help, but I'm not going to force, I'm not going to push, I'm not going to do whatever I'm going to observe. Now again, I feel like I need to say. If you have an extreme situation where you can't observe, it's too painful, whatever, get help. Please get help. Because if it's too extreme, you need to, you need more than what I'm talking about right now. When you get better, then you can do the basic, just watching. Sometimes when people watch, if someone is really emotionally charged and they start watching, it can cause even more upheaval. That's not what we're looking for. We're looking for, I'm strong enough. Now I'm just going to watch. One time I was watching, uh, we have a. retreat center in New York called Peace Village. And there was one student who was there who said that the, the, and she was American by the way. So American. And she said that the best thing that she learned from this practice was how to observe her mind. So it's a extremely important, powerful first step. I hope you will all try. I'm just going to check my little thing here if I forgot anything. Um, yes, have, have an attitude and a hopeful attitude that you're going to get better. One time I used to say, like, when you're going to clean your house, you have to face the dirt in order to clean the house and think about people that have hoarding and things like that. Like they just, I had a friend once who, she wasn't like a total hoarder, but she had like a lot of stuff and she really felt overwhelmed with all the things that she had. And I told her once, I said, listen, get one box of stuff, set your alarm for 15 minutes. Go through it for 15 minutes and when 15 minutes is up, close the box and go about and do something else. For her, even facing the mess was so scary and so emotionally charged that she was so scared she didn't want to do it. I mean, I didn't I didn't follow up with her on the 15 minute thing, but I think she tried to do it a couple of times because at least then you're getting the practice of trying to move in the direction. But the, my point in sharing this is there could be so much going on in our mind that maybe it feels overwhelming. And I would say that observing the mind is like the equivalent of that 15 minute timer. Like it's a way of addressing it. without emotional charge. I'm just going to watch. I'm not going to change anything. I'm not going to blame myself. I'm not going to be ashamed of what I see or don't see. I'm just going to watch. Oh, one other thing I'll leave you with. If you do decide to try to practice this, get a little journal. and write things down, whatever you see. I noticed that, you know, I'm afraid a lot. I noticed that I'm sad a lot. I noticed that I'm thinking all the time. I noticed that I really have high hopes for my situations and I feel, um, powerless in this situation or that situation, right? Yeah. Write it down, you know, also find, write down the good things too. It's not all bad, right? It's going to be, there's going to be some good things in it too. I feel really good when I'm walking or I feel really good when I'm with this one or I feel good when I, what, look, write, write, observe, notice, and write down what's going on in your mind. Let's, let's get it, let's figure out what's going on in there, you know, and then once we see it, then we can. start to, I don't want to say do something about it. It's not really doing, even the observing with the loving attitude is already starting to make a change. I can say that when I started this meditation practice, which is observing the mind, I'm not talking about formal meditation here, but any type of, of self meditation, reflection is going to create a positive change. One thing I noticed after two weeks of meditation, practicing Rajoga meditation, which is the meditation we practice, I noticed that anger completely left. And what I mean by anger is like that raging, screaming kind of anger. I still was irritable, frustrated, impatient, like those are like anger's little babies. So I still had that. But the over the top kind of yelling, upset, angry was gone. And I, I'm attributing that to this kind of loving, observing energy that I'm giving to myself. So this week your homework is. Observe, write a few things down. Just don't think that you're going to change anything or do anything. Get out of this consciousness of doing. I'm not doing anything. I'm just watching. I'm watching with a positive, loving attitude, with a hopeful wish to get better. Like I want the mind to be calm or I want the mind to be under control in a good way or I want the mind to be positive. This is what we want. So we're going to start the process by observing with a loving, merciful. Nonjudgmental attitude. Okay. I'll leave it there. Remember the slogan of this podcast is heal, empower, and serve. So until next time, take care.
