Episode Transcript
We Americans enjoy a wonderful and powerful way of life, but internally and in relationships, we may wish for better. Join me as we look beneath the surface and gain insights to transform every aspect of your life. My name is Dr. Ann O'Hare, and this is The Spiritual American. Hello, everyone. Welcome to the spiritual American. My name is Dr. Anne O'Hare and I'm your host. And today we're going to be talking about my body. is my best friend. Before we get started though, I'd like to invite you if you enjoy this content and it's helpful to you, please consider like sharing and subscribing. It helps us to reach more people on YouTube and the podcast, and also Please consider sharing with your friends and family so that they can benefit as well. So today we're talking about my body as my best friend. So as usual, I'm going to talk about some of the things that are going on now that maybe would impact my relationship with my body. Now, We've heard all kinds of things, body shame, body image, all kinds of things, but I'm going to go through a couple of different aspects here. And first, I'm going to ask the question, how do I feel about my body? And you can see what the first thought that comes to mind. Now I can go right into it, you know, men would feel different than women, young would feel different than old, this, that, the other, skinny or overweight, underweight, this, that. I'm going to go completely beyond all of that. I'm going to say. That there are many, many influences that we have in terms of information about our body. Science has given us a lot of knowledge in terms of the physical nature of our body with the organs, with the male and female, with reproduction, with illness, with vitamins. And then we get into the fitness and exercise and the science of muscles and the science of. And all of that is great. Also, what we learned in terms of Um, how to take care of our body or different food things that we learned in terms from our culture, all of that is good too. But if I'm going to ask now, if I take all of that aside, all of the science, everything I learned and whatever, and I take it all gender stuff, you know, male, female conditioning, everything, and just take it and put it aside for a minute and just say, how do I feel about this body? That might take a minute to answer. We are just beginning this podcast. And as we continue to explore, we're going to start seeing that a lot of times we're jumping from one idea to the next, rather than having a clear sense. of how we really feel about a situation. In one of the episodes recently, I was talking about boundaries. And I was saying that, I was so reacting to everyone else that I never knew how I really felt about myself or I wasn't standing up for myself or I was just reacting to everything. I'm going to suggest that we have been reacting to all the information that is coming about this body. One thing that just came to mind is expectations based on age, you know, it's supposed to be like this. It's not supposed, this is good. This is not good. Young is good. Old is bad. We have a lot of conditioning. And I'm going to suggest that maybe for the homework, write down all the different conditioning, all the different ideas. that we picked up along the way about my body. I'm going to share with you that I'm on a journey with this body right now,, that I'm really trying to get. a sense of how I feel without all of that conditioning. It's interesting. Maybe when you saw the title of this episode, my body is my best friend. Maybe you thought I was going to be talking about diet and exercise and stuff like that. If you notice, if you've been listening, you'll notice that I'm not telling anybody what to do. The only thing I'm usually telling people to do is to reflect or look, try to look at it a different way. I really believe that if I can see something in a different way. Then that will help me to be empowered in that area. If I can break free from some of the other ways that I've been stuck looking at it. So I'm going to share a little bit about my experience with my body and also some of the ideas, that I'm kind of taking on right now. I'll give an example. Like let's say some of the actresses now are choosing not to get plastic surgery and they're talking about aging naturally and. not coloring their hair and so forth. And what I've noticed is that each individual person, we normally focus on women, I guess. I'm, what I'm saying is my experience. I don't even know if this is the truth. I just know that this is what I'm experiencing. It seems like it's women. Mostly they're talking about their bodies, but Men have it too. It doesn't matter if you're male or female, but I'm really looking at here. How can I make my body my best friend? And I'm saying that the body already is your best friend. Our bodies are there since the minute we come into this world. They give us a chance to express ourselves. They give us a chance to interact with others, gives us a chance to feel things, gives us a chance to move around and do things. And our bodies also give us a family and language and everything else that comes with a body. The soul, the spirit would not be able to have any kind of experience. It's a human experience, right? Human being, right? Human is the body part and being is the soul, the self, right? So I wouldn't even be able to be alive in a sense of being a human being without a body. I'm kind of letting that sink in for a minute because I think we have had many, many decades of science and illnesses too. You know, medicine, all the illnesses. that we've been dealing with, you know, with the cancer and all different kinds of, autoimmune diseases and things like that. There's a lot that people are dealing with, with the body. But I want to say that ultimately the body is my best friend because the body enables me to be alive. here on earth, right? To be a human being. So that's the ultimate. That's like the ultimate. So what, how can I help, or how can I discover my best relationship with this body? That's the journey I'm on right now. I'm trying to not listen to what And this doesn't mean you throw the baby out with the bath water. It's not like, well, I'm not going to listen to science, so I'm going to eat ice cream for five meals a day and, you know, and that's what I'm going to do. But obviously we know that that's not, I mean, there's some reasonableness with nutrition I mean, it's obvious that exercise is. positive, right? In terms of if your aim is to stay healthy and if you're to keep the body healthy, there are certain things that the body needs. The body needs water, the body needs rest, the body needs food, the body needs exercise, right? I mean, it's pretty simple what the body needs. What I'm suggesting is that maybe there is a possibility of having a relationship with my body where I. feel like it's natural. So for instance, like when I was working on exercise, you know, some people don't have an issue with this. I mean, I'm, I'm aware that there are certain people, some of you that are listening that may have no problem with food or no problem with exercise It's possible. I know people that, go to the gym and get themselves in shape and I don't know what's going on in their mind, but they seem to have it handled on the outside. But I'm going to say that what, how would it be if I could have a completely free relationship with my body? Like every aspect of it is totally free. Like natural. I don't even have to think about it. Food, natural exercise, natural. My image, body image, natural, like total ease. Like when you're sitting with your best friend and you're just talking and you know, maybe sitting on a bench in a park and you're talking or something or chatting on the phone and you just feel like relaxed Do we feel relaxed in our body? Think about it. And is it our body's fault? You know, it's funny. I think we blame our body for our own discomfort. It's not the body's fault if I feel uncomfortable, the body works under laws, right? It's a law, you know, it, it needs rest. It needs this. It needs that. There's a couple of things that it needs. How do I feel about that? Do I resist it? Do I resist the fact that, I can't eat 10 gallons of ice cream a day or, you know, I'm using that as an example, or do I resent that I have to exercise every day and maybe I don't want to? Do I resent the fact that maybe my body has diseases or something going on with it? Do I resent that? Do I resist it? Do I get angry about it? Do I feel frustrated? Do I get upset about it? I have a feeling that many of us, we have an idea that our bodies are supposed to be a certain way and we're supposed to have a certain amount of health and we're supposed to have, and all these expectations, all these ideas about how it's supposed to be. And a long time ago, in one of the very first episodes, I talked about expectations. There's nothing wrong with expectations because it's just a wish. Like the wish that you wish it would be this way. That's okay. There's nothing wrong with that. I think where we get into trouble is when we don't accept what is. That's when we get into trouble. Like if I say, I wish I was 20 years old again. I wish the body was 20 years old again. Well, it's okay to wish that, but if I can't accept the fact that the body is 53 three now, then I'm going to come into a problem. I'm going to be very unhappy. Right. So you wonder, is it the body that's making me unhappy or is it me not accepting? what is. I think my opinion is that we have to have a balance between our own wishes, our own feelings, and what's actually happening. And I believe our body can help us with that because the body is going through its own scenario, right? It's going through its own aging process. It's going through its disease or wellness or whatever it's going through. We're helping, we're, we're supporting or hindering based on our behavior, right? But did you ever hear about people who. ran 10 miles a day and did everything right and vegetarian and everything and then they died of a heart attack at 53. I mean, any, the body is going to do what it's going to do, but wouldn't it be good if I could feel happy? Wouldn't it be good if I could feel natural? See if that makes sense to you. See if you can think about what if I was to give up all these ideas that I have about my body and really try to discover how I can feel good while accepting what's actually happening with the body. How can I feel good about it? And work with my body. One of the things I've noticed, this is very interesting. You know, we're so used to blaming outside things for how we feel. Like for instance, let's say I have, my back hurts or my hip hurts or something, and I could like make a big deal out of my hip hurting and I can. Use a lot of mental energy about it and I can think, oh, maybe I have arthritis, maybe I gotta go to the doctor, maybe I gotta use supplements, whatever. I'm not saying you shouldn't do that. I'm saying all the mental energy that's being used about it. The body just has a little pain there, okay? Body has a little bit of pain. Look and see how much of a reaction I'm having to whatever's going on with the body. Is it commensurate? Is it the right amount? How many of us are on the scale all the time? How much mental energy and emotional energy do we use about the scale, about food? The body doesn't worry about it. So we can use the body like, like, let's say we had a really good laid back friend. The body is like a really good laid back friend because the body's going through whatever it's going through. So can I find a way so that I feel natural with food, with exercise, with, can I keep working on releasing some of my negative ideas about the body? Some of my controlling ideas. Some of the gender based ideas, some of the, you know, expectations that are not based in reality. Can I can I begin to find a way like I'll give an example. I used to say when we were talking about food, with the patients and things like that. I used to say to the patients, cause we talk about their diet, like maybe they have to have a better diet. Maybe they're trying to lose weight or they need, or they're diabetic or they need a lower cholesterol. And I would say to them, look, start with what you like. And moderate and, and like adjust it or moderate it. So in other words, like instead of having a chili dog and French fries and whatever, have a hamburger with a salad. So you're having some of what you like. So with our body, how can we get it so that we can start with what we actually like and then adjust it like for like exercise, for instance. Nobody's saying we have to do a certain kind of exercise. There's so many different kinds of exercise, right? Can I start with what I like? Let me start there. Maybe I can adjust it so it'll be more along the lines with what the body needs. I would say start with what feels right to you. Start with what feels natural and authentic. Start with what you can get behind emotionally. And in the beginning, maybe it won't be very clear because we're so used to thinking in different ways, like, you know, this number on the scale or the number of calories and then how many hours of sleep, how, you know, what else does the body need? There's a bunch of things that the body needs. What about stretching? What about joint? What about, what about aging? What about? Can I match, can I match not only my expectations, like not only intellectually, but emotionally, like with my feelings, can I say, yeah, I can, I can feel good about this. One trap I think a lot of people get into is kind of looking in the past and saying, oh, I used to be able to do this. I used to be able to do that and missing the benefit in what it is now. Like for instance, I know my mom who had, who has passed away three years ago, But she used to be very, she was very intellectual. And she wasn't like 70, let's say she was 70, she died at 72. But when she was like 70, if she forgot something, she was a very brilliant lady. But when she forgot something, it would drive her crazy. And she would forget, I can't remember that name, I can't remember that name, and she would drive herself nuts trying to remember it. And I said, mom, why don't, who cares if you remember it or not? You don't need that name now. So I was trying to tell her that why should she make herself miserable over something that used to be versus just accepting what it is. You don't, you don't remember. That's okay. You don't need to remember. So good. Natural. Fine. Can I match? Can I start to emotionally match my body? where it is. And that's not to say that if I need to lose weight for my health or if I need to do that, that's fine. That's all part of my health, right? But in terms of my overall attitude towards my body, I think that there's a way to match yourself with your body so that you feel like your best friends. this kind of matching equal relationship. So I feel, I don't feel burdened by my body or I don't feel upset about my body. I actually feel like, okay, I'm in cooperation with this body. Now we're going to work together here. I can see where you're at. I'm going to try to support that. And I know you're supporting me because you're keeping me, you're allowing me to be here. So think a little bit about that. It's a little bit different, but the main takeaway from this is to see if you can start thinking of your body as a friend. And also that your relationship with the body can be natural and easy and authentic and not so much, over controlled by all those different bits of knowledge and ideas that we picked up along the way. And also let the past be the past. Like it's okay, however the body is, like try to accept the truth of the fact that what it is now. And I think that's kind of the key to opening up how we can feel better about it. And start with what you like and go from there so that it's authentic. Right. And you can be happy. All right. So I'll leave it there for today. So until next time, remember the slogan is. Heal, empower, and serve, and well, usually I talk about the serve part, so let's talk about the heal part. The healing part comes when I am able to look at things differently and able to take different actions and able to have mercy and caring towards myself. Empowerment means that I'm able to do different actions than I did before. in alignment with my own truth, right? And then serving is when as I get better, I'm actually helping everybody else. So thank you all for listening and until next time, take care. Um, uh,
