Episode Transcript
We Americans enjoy a wonderful and powerful way of life, but internally and in relationships, we may wish for better. Join me as we look beneath the surface and gain insights to transform every aspect of your life. My name is Dr. Ann O'Hare, and this is The Spiritual American. Hello and welcome to the spiritual American. My name is Dr. Anne O'Hare and I'm your host and today we will be talking about learning to like peace. So today is going to be a personal share. I'm going to share how I'm doing in this area, where I've come from and how I've been trying to get myself in that direction. But before we get started, please consider like sharing and subscribing. As you know, that trips the YouTube algorithms and gets this content out to more and more people. And also please consider sharing with your friends and family. as well. So learning to like peace. So I'm going to share the truth about myself right now. So when I started this meditation practice and this spiritual endeavor 13 years ago, I will tell you that I really didn't like meditation. I didn't like to sit still. I didn't like to try to be quiet because the mind would not be quiet. I did not like, the aspects of meditation in general, because it was about being still and being quiet. And it was hard for me to sit still. It was hard for me to get my mind to be still. The reason why I kept going, so you might ask, well, then why did you keep practicing it? The reason why I kept practicing is because I was studying the spiritual knowledge and the spiritual knowledge was fascinating and it made sense to me. And so it kept me interested. And I also understood what meditation was doing for me, because even though I wasn't totally peaceful and I wasn't totally calm and I wasn't totally still, I was having results. There were results showing up just from me practicing on a regular basis. So I still recommend regular practice. But today I'm going to talk about the actual affinity towards peace. I did not have it. I would much rather be active. I would much rather be planning something. I would much rather be solving a problem. I would much rather be figuring something out. That's why I liked the knowledge better because I could sit there and study it and make PowerPoints out of it and make poems. And I did everything I could do to actively. process the knowledge that was coming in. I like to be a student. I'm a good student. So that student teacher part of it. Great. No problem, but sit still and be quiet and consider yourself to be a soul and just go up beyond thoughts and be still. I did it. I tried it. I knew what it was, but I, I didn't really like it. And I can tell you that, I used to watch others that used to meditate even when we went to India the headquarters of the Brahma Kumaris is in India So we went to India And I had no problem with India I didn't really a lot of people have a big culture shock when they go to India I really didn't it was fine with me. It didn't bother me but I remember watching some of the People sitting for meditation and they looked so still. They looked so like they were in the zone or something and they were you could tell that they weren't thinking anything. And as I'm sitting there, I'm managing my thinking, I'm managing my body, I'm managing, how long have I been here? I have to try to do it for 15 minutes. I've tried to do a half an hour. Where am I going to go next? As I'm sharing all this, I hope that you can relate to this because I'm putting myself out there, right? I'm telling the truth here. When we start meditating, it doesn't mean that we automatically start having these amazing peaceful experiences. When we start meditating, the first thing that happens is you start seeing what's going on inside your mind and in your body, I'm going to say, because the mind and body are connected. So I think we start getting aware of what's going on in our mind and body. That's the first thing that starts happening. And for me, it wasn't peaceful and it wasn't still, it was active, it was impulsive and so forth. I was very action conscious. So everything was related to what I can do about it. Even those of you who are watching right now, maybe some of you are watching some of the episodes and say, Oh, get to it, get to it. What do I need to do? What do I need to do? Right. That's why I tried to make these episodes short because. I don't want to keep talking for a very long time. I want to talk long enough to get, for you to get a sense or for me to even get the concept out clearly, but try not to go beyond that. There's no need to talk that much, right? But to be able to focus and sit and listen and be quiet. It's not so easy. So I was action conscious. That meant I always wanted to be active mentally, actively trying to find a solution, actively trying to figure out what the person's saying, actively trying to judge where they're coming from. Everything was active, active, active. And if you're that active, and if you're trained to be that active, and I was saying this yesterday to a friend, that I believe part of this activity consciousness comes from. Higher education, the higher your education goes, the more you learn how to be like that. That's my experience. So when you go to graduate level education, let's say you start learning how to be very, very active in your thinking, very, very problem solving and so forth. You're able to hold a lot of information at once. All of that is fine, but it's not good for meditation. It doesn't help you at all. The part that bothered me about it the most is that I didn't like it. I did it, but I didn't like it and I was watching others and they looked like they were enjoying themselves so much. And even my good friend who I talked to about meditation, he's always telling me how, I'm experiencing this and, I mean, I have had those experiences, but the main thing that was bothering me was that I didn't have an affinity towards it. It's almost like, what, is there something wrong with me? Why don't I like peace? So as I'm saying this, I hope some of you can relate to this. I can't be the only one, right? So I was action conscious and then I put activity feels real and good to me. So it's like if I'm sitting still, there's this sense of boredom or where's, what do I have to do next? Or it's almost like this impulsive self starts coming up. It's hard to relax. I used to think it was just the nervous system, but it's also the mind and it's also something else that I'm going to share and this is my sharing my own experience, but so there was a lot of increased mental activity, stillness felt boring. I was fidgeting and so forth, or even if I was trying to stay still externally, internally, it was difficult for me to be still or have a peaceful experience. It seems like I was fighting my own self to try to be quiet. That's not a peaceful experience, right? The thought that came to me was why don't I like it? I don't like peace. I mean, how could I not like peace? Who doesn't like peace? So what's going on inside me? So I'm going to share with you what I recently have discovered and to share and also maybe this will be meaningful to you. So I started looking at answering that question, who is it that doesn't like peace? And I started to imagine that there's another little self in here. You could call it a little ego, a little self in here that learned that the way life is, Is to be active. That's the way life is. That's the way life works. And the way to be alive in this world is to think, is to figure it out, is to plan, is to evaluate things on how you're gonna do activities and think about timing and the engineering of things and how you're going to get things accomplished. And that one. For that little person here, I imagine that it's, it's, it's own little person for that person. That is the only reality. So what I tried to do now is I am working with that person. Now you can do this with anything that you think is too much. Like maybe I'm too excitable or maybe I get too angry or maybe I get too, I Sad, or maybe I get too reactive. So what I'm doing with this one is I'm giving that one respect. Now I wrote down here, you don't respect the ones that are violent or negative. So if the one was saying, you're a piece of whatever and you're no good and whatever, I'm not going to respect that voice. That voice needs to kind of be shut down and I, I may do a full episode on this, but I do feel truly that self criticism is the worst poison of the mind. It's the worst poison and it should not be tolerated in my opinion, should not be tolerated. But let's say that that's not what this is. Let's say it's just a personality in there that just thinks that that's the way it should be. And I have to say that that one is pretty developed. That one is pretty developed and it's pretty much been running the show. Whether it's, at work or at school or with family or with daily routine or with trying to exercise or with food or with cooking or with anything, that one comes up and says, I got this, I'm going to plan this. I'm going to think about this. Don't worry. We'll figure it out. Blah, blah, blah. And that one is like on it. What I'm realizing is that one is not wrong or bad. It's just that I don't need that one when I'm meditating. So what I'm doing, and this is what I'm sharing here, learning to like peace, what I'm doing is I'm working with that one now. And I'm saying, listen, I really appreciate that you have learned how to do all this. And you've learned how to use thinking and planning and figure things out because there is a time and a place for that. But at this moment. I would like you to please be quiet. After this time, you can come back and be active again. But right now, I would like you to please be quiet. Now, this may be a little different than what you've heard before. Sometimes you hear if you're trying to meditate and the thought comes in, you tell the thought to go or let it pass or something. I'm saying now that I'm relating to this thing like it's an actual person. It's not just a thought, it's a developed way of being, a developed way of looking at the world, and it thinks that it's the right way to do things. So what I'm doing now is I'm coming in and I'm saying with respect, I see you there, I know that this is what you do, I know that this is important to you, and I'm asking you now to please be quiet so that we can feel peaceful for this period of time. After this period of time, and I've been using like a time, like after eight o'clock you can come back and start doing your thing. But from now until whenever, like in the morning routine now, I've been trying to not let's say pick up the phone. I haven't been doing screens until 8 a. m. Just an example. So I told that one, I said, okay, wait, there's going to be no screens and no active. Thing until after 8 a. m. We're only going to do this and what why am I sharing this? And some of you may be listening to this like, what is she talking about? Have you ever tried to change something and it doesn't change? Have you ever tried to quiet your mind and it doesn't get quiet? Have you ever tried to sit for meditation and you can't relax? Have you ever tried to Change your thinking habits or change your behaviors and then they don't change What I'm suggesting this is my practice and my experience. What I'm doing now is I'm respecting that thing. I'm not fighting it. I'm trying to understand it and I'm trying to work with it. Like right now is not the time for you to come out and do your thing. Please stay quiet with me now and in a little while you can come out again. Again, these are only for personality traits that are not negative. The negative ones, you need to deal with them differently. But I think the ones that are functional, the ones that we have been using in our life and maybe we're using them at the wrong time or maybe we have a hard time calming down at night. Like that's another thing that I am working on, trying to calm down at night because that thing wants to keep going. And as soon as the workday's over and as soon as, and I know, I really hope that some of you can relate to what I'm saying now. As soon as the workday's over and as soon as the responsibilities end, the mind starts going. Right? So this one now says, great, I don't have to focus on this anymore. Now it's a free for all. I don't want to be quiet now. I've been cooped up all day. Now I want to go. How many of us lay down to go to sleep and then the mind starts going crazy, right? We have a hard time calming down, being still. So the thing is here, I wrote down learning to like peace. It's not me that doesn't like peace. It's that one. It's that part of my personality that has been so overdeveloped that it's running the show. Now, what am I doing with that one? Am I afraid of that one? Am I fighting with that one? Am I denying that one? Am I trying to cover it up? Am I feeling helpless about it? Well, what I'm suggesting right now is learn about it. understand where it's coming from and learn how to work with it. Those skills are not bad. Maybe they're just being used at the wrong time, or maybe they're being used, more than necessary. There might be personality traits that are underdeveloped, but I'm talking for this one. I'm talking about this one's overdeveloped. This one is overactive. So if I'm trying to be peaceful and quiet, it's like, I'm almost. I don't want to say I can control my body language and I can control my smile but the mind is still, and it's because this one is still active. So I need to get this one to cooperate with me and it's working. So I want to just share that it is working. And I think it's a good example of what love and respect can do in any relationship. love and understanding and respect, right? I know that it's better if I go to bed early. I know it's better if I have a relaxed evening or if I'm able to have a powerful meditation in the morning. I know that those things are good for me. I know that I want to be able to start experiencing loving peace. and enjoying it. I would like to start experiencing that, but I'm not experiencing it because I'm dealing with this one who not only is overactive at the time, but also I'm not really understanding what it's doing. So there's a lot of energy being wasted. Or being used, let's say it's a lot of energy being used by that part of my personality where there's not a lot of energy to feel peaceful. There's not a lot of energy to feel enjoyment of the peace or to even discover what's possible in that area because there's so much activity. So again, how do I begin to like peace? Well, I'm going to say that naturally, probably I really do like peace and I think I do, but I have to do something about this mind and what's going on with that other. Part of my personality. So if you're listening to this, as you can tell, I haven't fully mastered this, but I'm sharing this because I think it's important. A lot of people may think meditation is not for me because I can't feel peace or meditation is not for me. I'd much rather be doing something active. I used to hear people say, I don't like a Hatha yoga. You know, the exercise of yoga, it moves too slow, moves too slow. I need more action. I need more activity. Maybe it's fair to say that peace and stillness is also positive, is good for us. And maybe we have an overactive other part of our personality. So What I'm offering today is the possibility of getting to know myself a little bit better, getting to know the different aspects of my personality, not the negative ones because the negative ones you have to deal with differently, like I said, but the ones that have a function, but maybe you're overactive and not allowing me to have these spiritual, natural, soul conscious, experiences. So think about it, reflect for yourself and see, are you able to sit still? Are you able to be peaceful? Are you able to have a peaceful experience? Do you naturally like it? I know people that do. For me, the knowledge was much more, was much more attractive because it was something I could do. But the peace, it's like, what am I supposed to do with myself? But for some people, the not doing is feels better than the study. They don't study, but they'd rather just sit in meditation. I've met people like that too. So I think we can look for ourselves and see, but in Raja yoga meditation practice, both are important. There must be a practice of stillness, a practice of peace, a practice of self awareness and then also knowledge, the knowledge that helps me to understand the way the world is from a soul conscious perspective. And the knowledge also helps me to create a spiritual based reality for myself. So I'll leave it there. Remember, our slogan is heal, empower, and serve. And until next time, take care. Um, uh,
